July 10, 2024

Beware of Relational Deception

Would any of us willingly enter deception? Of course not!

As Christians, we’re taught to “believe the best” in someone and not to “judge” others. But we also need to remember that Jesus told us to be “wise as serpents” and he even seemed to praise the dishonest manager for being more shrewd in relationships than his own followers.

“The master commended the dishonest manager for his shrewdness. For the sons of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own generation than the sons of light,” (Luke 16:8 ESV).
 
Heed the Warnings
As Christians, do we ignore red flags in relationships with people we believe to be trustworthy. When we choose to ignore warning signs or “irregularities” that should raise a question, we are willfully opening the door to deception.

A few years ago I experienced a deep betrayal by someone I completely trusted. We had spent hours talking. They had been over for family functions. It was a close relationship. When small red flags popped up...people said that the person wasn’t trustworthy, I ignored them because I was convinced I knew the individual. I “knew” they wouldn’t do what I was beginning to hear. In the end, my blind trust led to my own hurt. The warnings were accurate.

The Holy Spirit was revealing issues, but I didn’t realize it–because of my relationship with the person. I thought I knew them and so I trusted them. When I went to them as the Bible instructs us to do, I asked about the areas in question. They always had a quick answer, which put my heart at rest because I just believed what they said. I couldn’t imagine they would lie to my face—but they did—repeatedly. It was all deception. And worse…I missed it for a long time.

We must remember: actions are indicators. If what they are doing doesn’t line up with what they are saying, believe the actions more than their words.
 
Willful Deception
Relationship often skews our discernment and creates willful deception. Worse yet, when we see or hear about irregularities that go against what we believe about an individual, without realizing it, we begin to create excuses for their behavior because we can’t imagine they would  intentionally do something wrong.
 
Last Days Deception?
I call it relational deception when people refuse to look at facts because it creates cognitive dissonance with what we believe about them. The Bible tells us in the last days even the elect can be deceived. I believe this is one of the ways—when we blindly defend people we think we know.
 
ATTACKED!
This past week, I was verbally attacked by a multitude of “friends” and people in leadership because of articles I have written that are exposing corruption in someone at a top position in Oklahoma politics. Initially, I had an open door to confront him as the Bible instructs us to in Matthew 18. Although this Christian brother told me what I hoped to hear, his actions spoke way louder than the false words he told me. After approaching him repeatedly for months, finally, due to his destructive leadership, it became necessary to call him out publicly.

I have been screamed at, denounced, called a liar and worse, and last even physically assaulted by two individuals who were enraged at me over my investigation into these matters. Why? Because of relational deception.
 
When I talked about it in a meeting I was invited to be a speaker at, a former friend stood up, came to the mic, interrupted me and said, “I do not stand with Karen Hardin!” It was an interesting moment. I am standing for truth and integrity. So when she said she is not standing with me—what is she standing for? Deception and the refusal to accept clear evidence that says something is very, very wrong.

We are in a season of exposure of darkness and corruption. It will continue and we need to brace for it. We cannot compromise with darkness, but allow the light and truth to expose the darkness.  Recognize that some accusations may be false—but others may be true. Be cautious before jumping in blindly on either side. Actions speak louder than words. Facts tell the true story. Don’t be afraid to recognize the truth and expose the darkness.
 
 Kevin & Karen
 
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INFECTED
How to Stop the Global Spread of
Rage, Deception, & Insanity

To understand the pattern of relational deception in the Bible (yes it’s there!) and how to recognize it and be free, please get my book, “Infected."

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